The Zoo's Deadly Festival​

The day I started my new job at the zoo, I was added to a group chat called “100 Ways to Kill a Human.”

Every member had an animal for their profile picture.

I figured it was just a quirky work chat for the staff. How cute, I thought.

Then I saw them discussing how to eat me.

SkyScreecher: [The new human has beautiful eyes. I can’t wait for the festival. I want to peck them out right now!]

KingKong: [Patience. There will be plenty of humans at the festival. More eyeballs than we can eat! Also, I call dibs on her thighs!]

TigerClaw: [No one’s fighting me for her head, right?]

OldTusks: [I’m a vegetarian, but I can help crush her bones.]

1

My fingers trembled. I looked up at the elephant enclosure in front of me—my designated zone.

An old, withered elephant was staring at me with dark, unsettling eyes. It looked ancient and skeletal, its skin a cracked canvas of dried mud, swarmed by a cloud of flies. It hadn't been bathed in ages.

Our eyes met, and a strange chill ran down my spine.

What the hell was that group chat?

I looked at my phone again. The chat had gone silent.

My new coworker, a guy named Rick, nudged me. "Hey, newbie. Get to work. Just give it a quick once-over."

He stepped into the enclosure with a look of disgust, grabbed a hose, and started spraying a nearby elephant. The elephants backed away, trying to avoid the water.

Rick cursed at them. "You damn animals! I'm tired of waiting on you. Get over here!"

The elephants didn't move.

He threw the hose down. "Fine. Stink for all I care."

He walked out and gave me my instructions. "Alright, my work is done. You go prep their food. Don't give them too much. It's a waste on them anyway."

And just like that, he was gone.

Every elephant watched him leave, especially the old one. Its murky eyes were filled with a cold rage.

A new message popped up in the chat.

OldTusks: [Just wait until the festival. I'll be the first to crush that hose-wielding human. Then all the other humans!]

SweetTrunk: [Daddy, let me do it! Let me!]

FattyTheSeal: [Tons of humans will come to see us during the festival. If we riot then, we can kill so many of them!]

MonkeyKing: [That hose-wielding human deserves to die. The new one is probably just as bad. I’m gonna hit her with a rock!]

My eyes widened. I spun around just as a rock the size of an egg whizzed past my ear. A cold sweat broke out on my skin.

On the monkey enclosure not far away, a monkey was standing on two feet, baring its teeth at me. When it saw me looking, it immediately started scratching its chest, feigning innocence with a goofy grin.

I swallowed hard. Now I was sure.

The members of the "100 Ways to Kill a Human" chat were the animals themselves.

2

My head was spinning.

These animals… they hated humans this much? And they were planning a riot during the upcoming Christmas?

After a moment of hesitation, I walked into the elephant enclosure and started my work. All the elephants watched me with cold indifference.

As I cleaned, my mind raced. The stat...