Expired love

My head throbbed, a dull ache that mirrored the one in my chest. The hospital room was sterile, the air thick with the scent of antiseptic. Jason, my boyfriend, hovered, fussing over me, adjusting my pillows, offering ice chips. The lady in the next bed, bless her heart, leaned over and whispered, "So, when's the big day?" I managed a weak smile and a shake of my head. If only she knew.

He still didn't know that I'd seen it. Him, and a girl nicknamed "Honeybun," their avatars linked with a digital heart in his mobile game. He'd left his phone unlocked while getting me water last night. 147 days. They’d been “together” for 147 days.

The day I was discharged, Chicago got slammed with the biggest snowstorm of the year. Jason wrapped his scarf around my neck, teasing me about looking like a little snowman. Tears welled up. He crouched down, holding my hand, his brown eyes full of concern. "What's wrong, babe?" he asked. I stared at him. How could someone be so sweet, so caring, while living a double life?

His Instagram was plastered with pictures of me. He quit smoking because of my allergies, and wouldn't let his friends light up around me either. After a night out with the guys, he'd wait in the hallway for ten minutes before coming inside, just because I couldn't stand the smell of beer on him. He knew my favorite foods, my favorite brands of everything. He even tracked my period better than I did. Last month, I went skiing in Aspen with friends. He couldn't make it because of work, but he spent half an hour on the phone reminding me to be careful. My friends joked that he was totally whipped. Head over heels. And yet… Honeybun.

I craved spicy food. Hot wings, jalapeño poppers, anything to burn away the dull ache inside. Jason coaxed me into having some plain chicken soup he'd made. Watching him bustle around the kitchen, I blurted out, "Hey, Jason, can I play that game with you?"

He froze for a second, then ruffled my hair. "Sure, silly, when did you get into gaming?"

Truth was, I was clueless about video games. The controls made my head spin. And, I noticed, he seemed to be using a different account to play with me. We lost miserably. I threw my phone on the couch. He wasn’t even mad. "Wanna try something else?" he asked, snuggling up to me on the couch. His warm breath tickled my ear, his freshly washed hair smelled like sandalwood. I pulled away. He raised an eyebrow, surprised, but just rubbed my stomach and told me to get some sleep.

The next day, I left for work before he woke up. He texted me twice at lunch. "Just leaving the hospital, don't eat anything too spicy. Ordered you some clam chowder, be a good girl and eat it." "Were you upset last night? Movie after work?" I stared at the screen, my stomach twisting. He was on time picking me up, like always. We went to the movies. I barely paid attention. His phone buzzed constantly. Halfway through, he excused himself, saying he had to deal with an emergency. I nodded, telling him I’d...