The Homecoming Hustle

I’ve been a player for years, bouncing from one relationship to another.

My semester abroad was a glorious, carefree escape.

Then, my mom hit me with a call, demanding I come home immediately.

Her voice was serious, heavy even, on the phone.

Turns out, my childhood best friend, Sarah, was being completely manipulated by some loser.

She said this guy was smooth, a con artist, who was using her for money and affection.

A sweet girl, she was turning into his personal ATM.

I was in the middle of a passionate make-out session with my current girlfriend.

Carelessly, I replied, "Hey, people gotta learn hard lessons about love, right? No biggie. How bad is it?"

Mom paused for a beat.

"They're getting engaged tomorrow morning."

01

The engagement party was at the Grand Hyatt on the 32nd floor.

Of all the luck, my family owned the place.

I’d heard from a mutual friend just before my flight took off.

Apparently, my pal Sarah was neck-deep in a lovey-dovey disaster.

She's always been a golden girl, a total trust fund kid. She’d showered this guy with gifts - cars, connections, basically throwing resources at him like they were nothing.

But he was greedy, demanding a fancy penthouse before the engagement.

That’s when Sarah's family finally stepped in. My mom got a call: "Your kid, Ben, was always a charmer, girls wrote him love letters in high school, he's a good-looking, charismatic guy with an established connection to Sarah. He's got to stop this from happening, it can't go through!”

I was annoyed.

Was this their way of saying, “Time to unleash your player on this poor girl?”

Of course, Mom agreed without hesitation.

The elevator doors opened, and I strode in, a perfectly tailored suit cutting through the tension in the room.

With a practiced smile, I casually put an arm around Sarah's shoulder. “Engaged already? You didn’t even tell your buddy? Thought I was going to bring back a gift for you."

Next to her, the supposed fiancé, a guy named Chad, visibly tensed up in his rented tux.

I glanced at him.

He’d be pushing 5’10” with platform shoes, was too skinny, and had way too much foundation.

The kind of guy teenage girls swoon over.

Leaning in to Sarah, I whispered, “This is him?”

Then, I gave Chad a smug raise of my eyebrows.

He instantly frowned.

But he put on a fake-friendly smile.

“Sarah, this must be….”

Chad started, his voice trying hard to sound deep and sexy.

Seriously, dude, weren’t you tired of that act?

But now wasn’t the time for drama, Sarah, sweet and clueless as ever, hadn’t caught on yet. She just happily introduced us. "This is Ben, my best bud since kindergarten, and this is my fiancé, Chad.”

I rolled my eyes.

Chad wanted to play the "nice guy" routine?

Let’s play.

“Oh, so you’re going to be my sister-in-law's man, huh?” I said with a grin, extending a hand. "Sarah’s always talked about you. You seem like the kind of guy who is going to make a great stay-at-home dad.”

A couple of our mutual friends st...