Seventeen and a Secret

When I was seventeen, I had a major crush.

My family wasn't exactly rolling in dough, so I spent a whole year saving up to buy him a birthday gift.

The day my mom had her accident, I skipped out early from school.

And that's when I overheard him, all smiles, saying to his friend, "This thing? A three-dollar prize from some diner would probably be better."

His friend guffawed, "I knew Chase wouldn't want it. Just give it to me, I can probably sell it for a couple of bucks to spend online.”

"Whatever, here."

Chase tossed it to his friend like it was garbage, and his eyes landed right on mine.

Years later, at our high school reunion, I heard that Chase had been searching for me for eight years.

1.

When Chase and I locked eyes, his expression turned stiff.

The guy holding the watch fidgeted and said awkwardly, “Uh… you want it back?”

I watched as the watch was manhandled, looking like it had never been cared for. It wasn’t a fancy watch, maybe a hundred bucks or so, but I’d saved almost a year to get it.

Every single bit of money I’d saved from my lunch money.

My eyes moved to Chase’s wrist, where he was wearing a watch.

I didn’t recognize the brand, but one thing was for sure: his watch was way nicer than mine.

Quietly, I took the watch from Chase's friend, and I looked at Chase saying, “I’m sorry, I’ll just take care of it myself.”

Chase just looked down, lips pressed into a thin line, saying nothing.

Awkwardly, I rubbed the watch in my hand and turned away quickly.

As I passed the first trash can by the school entrance, I made up my mind. I tossed the watch right in.

I glanced back at him.

He casually looked up at me, a smirk playing on his lips, his eyes glinting with mockery.

I froze and looked down.

It was so humiliating, my silly crush.

I had no clue then that Chase’s gaze would haunt my dreams.

2.

When I got home, my dad was sitting on the porch, sucking on a cheap cigarette, his face all worry lines.

My mom wasn’t there.

He handed me a report, which said my mom had breast cancer.

My dad took a deep drag of his cigarette and said, “Treatment for breast cancer is like a hundred or two hundred grand. Your mom and I talked… we’re not going to do it.”

“Your mom said she wants my ribs, your mom wants my famous BBQ ribs. Go get the ingredients, and I’ll pick your mom up soon.”

I didn’t believe him. I kept flipping through the report, my voice shaky. “Is it confirmed? These things can be misdiagnosed! I’m taking mom to another doctor tomorrow, this has to be a mistake…”

I stared stubbornly at my dad.

His eyes were all red, he just kept staring back without saying a thing.

Tears started to spill down my face, I couldn’t hold them back.

Finally, crying, I said, “I'm not going to college. We need to get Mom treatment.”

My dad looked down.

I knew that he was just as upset as I was.

My dad had a bum leg, and my mom was the only one who had been willing to be with him. She had never looked down on him. She always cheer...