Freshman Fiasco

My first day of college, I dragged my suitcase up to my dorm and ran into this girl on the stairwell, whispering on her phone.

“Mom, the blanket I ordered online got here, it was like twenty bucks, super comfy… yeah, don't worry, I'm not spending money on dumb stuff. Six hundred a month is totally doable.”

My hand slipped, and my suitcase almost tumbled down the stairs. Yikes. The cheapest t-shirt in my suitcase probably cost more than her monthly budget. I took a look at her profile, and felt a twinge of embarrassment.

When I got to the dorm, my new roommates, Sarah and Emily, were already there, and they enthusiastically helped me unpack. Then the last roommate showed up. She introduced herself as Tiffany, then looked at my blanket and wrinkled her nose.

“Did your mom seriously send you to school with that thing? I bet it doesn’t even breathe.” She flipped open her own bedding. “You should get one like mine, it’s a two-thousand dollar Egyptian cotton set.”

I stared at her in disbelief, my silk duvet feeling strangely awkward now. This was the same girl I’d seen on the stairs, wasn’t it? Maybe I misheard her?

Sarah, who's from Montana and isn't shy, went straight at her. "It's her blanket, Tiffany, what's it to you?"

Tiffany just rolled her eyes at us and mumbled something about being cheap before claiming the top bunk across from me.

I just shook my head and pulled out the box of chocolates I brought to share. Sarah and Emily had brought some beef jerky and trail mix from their hometowns to share too.

Tiffany snagged a piece of everything we offered, then pulled out three cheap-looking braided bracelets. "I got these from a church festival, they're totally priceless, you guys have to wear them."

I recognized them - the kind you buy five for a dollar at those cheap street markets.

Then, Tiffany picked up the box of chocolates I’d brought, turning it over and over. "Chloe, this is like, a generic brand, right? I mean, what you put in your body, it needs to be quality. If you're gonna have chocolate, you gotta go with Godiva or something."

Sarah, trying to lighten the mood, unwrapped a piece and ate it. “Wow, Chloe, this chocolate is amazing! What brand is it?”

Emily glanced at the box. “Godiva.”

Tiffany sat up straight and pulled out her phone. “Godiva, see? I told you, that's just a rip-off….” Then she stopped.

Sarah looked over. “What?”

Emily giggled. “Probably just saw the price.”

Sarah looked it up too. “Whoa, Chloe! This stuff is crazy expensive! I don't even want to eat it, I'll save a few and bring them home for my mom to try.”

I laughed. “Don’t worry about it, I’ve got more at home. I'll bring you another box when we go home for break."

Tiffany just rolled over on her bed. “Show off.”

2.

Later, the RA sent a message to Tiffany in our group chat: "Tiffany Miller, is your dorm air conditioner fixed yet? If not, you need to report it to facilities."

Emily peeked over at us. “Tiffany, what’s your real name?”

Tiffany loo...