I broke up with my boyfriend of four years

I'd been with Vivian for six years, from high school through college. Everyone called me a lovesick puppy dog, always at her beck and call. And yet, it was me who said, "Vivian, I can't do this anymore. I don't want to be in love with you like this. I'm breaking up with you."

1.

Vivian was the undisputed campus queen. Beautiful, smart, nice – the whole package. People always said I was punching above my weight, that I'd gotten incredibly lucky landing her. I'd just smile and say nothing.

I was waiting for her outside her classroom after her Friday afternoon class. A few other couples were loitering around, and a small group of students were gossiping nearby.

"Which one's Vivian?" I heard a guy with a braided ponytail ask a girl with short hair. He wasn't exactly whispering.

The girl pointed towards the classroom.

"That's Vivian. Wow, she's gorgeous. How come I've never seen her around?"

"She's always buried in her books, either here or at the library."

"She has a boyfriend, right?"

"Don't you know? It's Ethan, the econ major." The girl glanced sideways at me.

I heard my name and knew she'd seen me. Our eyes met. An awkward silence hung in the air before the girl quickly dragged the guy away.

Even as they walked off, I could still hear snippets of their conversation.

"He's… average. What does she see in him?"

"No idea. Heard they've been together since high school."

I shrugged. It wasn’t the first time I’d heard that. Vivian and I had been together since junior year, six years now. It was true, Vivian was stunning, and she'd always had a string of admirers. I wasn’t bad looking, at least I’d been considered cute in high school. But college was a different story. There were so many good-looking guys here; I barely registered.

I sighed, pulling my hands out of my pockets and craning my neck to look into the classroom.

2.

Vivian was sitting a few rows back, pen in hand, working through some equations. A guy was sitting next to her, close enough that their shoulders almost touched. The late afternoon sun cast a warm glow on their faces, making them look like characters in a movie. And me? I felt like an unnecessary extra.

Class ended, but they stayed put, still talking. I walked in, and Vivian looked up, acknowledging me with a brief glance before returning to her discussion with the guy.

Their voices were low, almost conspiratorial. Physics – their major – was beyond me. I found an empty seat and sat down, watching them. Vivian was completely focused, oblivious to my presence. A knot of unease began to tighten in my stomach. I could tell. The guy was into her.

3.

Guys were always into Vivian. It was nothing new.

After what felt like an eternity, they finally finished. I got up and walked over, taking Vivian's hand as if to stake my claim. I recognized the guy now. He'd been hanging around Vivian lately, always with some question or another. And Vivian, always patient, always willing to help.

I asked her what she wanted for dinn...