on unattainable goals

Six months ago, Sarah told me the factory wasn't doing well, and our food stamps and meat rations were cut. I believed her. Then one day, I saw her pocketing most of her paycheck, food stamps, and meat rations, only to hand them over to her best friend's widower and his daughter.

I blew up, but she just said coldly, "You got him fired with your outburst. Go home and think about what you did." Then, she had him take my job at the factory.

Now, I hustle day and night selling socks at a street stall.

People ask me why I work so hard.

"I want to see the world," I say quietly.

Sarah looked up sharply.

1.

"Hey, not at the factory today?"

"Oops, look at my mouth! Gotta go, gotta go!"

Neighbors passing by offered their condolences, dripping with fake sympathy. Ever since Sarah, my wife, got me fired from the factory and replaced me with Ethan Harris, the whole neighborhood knew. They looked at me with a mixture of pity and amusement.

I set down my pickled bamboo shoots and slammed the door shut. That night, Sarah came home and, as usual, placed the meager remains of her paycheck, food stamps, and meat rations in front of me.

2.

"They also gave out half a pound of sugar. Put it away later," she said, her voice cool and distant. I used to thrill to the sound of her voice. Now, looking at her beautiful profile, I felt nothing. Maybe I was just tired.

I straightened my aching back and went to the kitchen to cook dinner. She followed, taking off her coat and helping me as she always did.

I paused, spatula in hand. Who would guess this office manager at a steel factory would transform into a loving, caring wife after work? I used to think I was the luckiest man alive to be her husband.

But then I saw the pale pink blouse she wore under her coat. It wasn't one I bought her. My hand trembled. I fought back tears, forcing myself to look away. The spatula clattered to the floor, and I walked out of the kitchen. Sarah glanced at me, picked up the spatula, and continued cooking.

3.

"I made this spicy, just the way you like it," Sarah said, taking off her apron and setting a plate in front of me. The perfect wife.

If I hadn't seen her giving most of her earnings to someone else, if she hadn't used me as a scapegoat to get Ethan a job, if she hadn't ignored me when I was sick with a fever to care for Ethan and his daughter… I wouldn’t have believed it.

I took a deep breath. My job was gone. This woman didn’t care about me. It was over. Wallowing in self-pity wouldn’t help. I had to figure out how to survive. Sarah used to be my whole world. But not anymore. From now on, I was living for myself.

I devoured my dinner and went to check our remaining supplies. With no job and a wife supporting another man, I needed to know what we had left. I couldn't starve.

After I finished eating, I washed the dishes. I couldn’t go through our finances with Sarah around. But it didn’t matter. Ethan would show up soon with some excuse about their daughter, Maya. I j...