My Wife's Guy Best Friend

"My wife has a male best friend. Their relationship is so close that they don't care about gender boundaries - they can eat together and even sleep in the same room. I've asked them multiple times to be mindful and keep their distance. But she gets angry instead: "Ryan and I have known each other for over 20 years. If anything was going to happen between us, it would have happened long ago. You think you have a say in this?" Then she continues to do whatever she wants, staying overnight with Ryan. Even my in-laws treat Ryan like their own son and tell me to be more open-minded. Later, I made a female friend of my own. My wife confronted me: "What's going on between you and Emma? Don't you two have any sense of boundaries?" I threw her words right back at her: "Emma and I have been coworkers for three years. If anything was going to happen, it would have happened long ago. You think you have a say in this?" 1 At 4 AM, Lily still hadn't come home. I knew she wouldn't be back tonight. In the past, I would have been furious in this situation, calling her non-stop. But today, I was surprisingly calm, without a trace of anger. She came back in the morning, carrying bread and milk. With a grin, she said, "I was partying with Ryan last night and things got a bit wild. I didn't want to wake you up by coming home late, so I just crashed elsewhere." She winked playfully and emphasized, "We didn't share a bed, it was a twin room." Ryan is her neighbor. They grew up together - childhood friends, as they say. But according to her, she and Ryan are just bros. Even if she stood naked in front of him, he wouldn't get turned on. I've seen them horsing around many times. She'd laugh and hook her arm around Ryan's neck or jump on his back. Ryan never refused and often pinched her cheeks. Every time I saw this, I felt uncomfortable. I'd pull Lily aside and tell her to be more careful and keep her distance. At first, she'd explain and reassure me. Later, she got impatient and retorted, "We've known each other since we were kids. If we were going to be together, what would be the point of you?" And whenever this happened, Ryan would stand nearby with his hands in his pockets, casually saying, "Bro, you're too uptight. In my eyes, Lily's not even a woman, she's like my sister at most. How could I have thoughts about my own sister? Wouldn't that make me a beast?" Looking at his pretentious act, I thought to myself, aren't you exactly that kind of beast? For a while, Lily and Ryan did become a bit more distant. She stopped going out so often and stayed home, asking me to massage her back and legs, and cook for her. She demanded five dishes for each meal, with meat, vegetables, and soup. If I complained it was too much trouble, she'd say, "You won't let me go out, so if I can't even eat well at home, what's the point?" I had no choice but to grit my teeth and cook up a storm in the kitchen. She posted photos of my cooking on Insta...